My husband and I love to go on road trips together but lately because of coronavirus and him being in nursing school we haven't been able to get out as much as we would like to.
Our usual spot is Port Aransas, Texas. Not too far from Corpus Christi and South Padre Island. Being from San Antonio we both grew up taking weekend or spring break trips to the beach.
For as long as I can remember I haven't been comfortable in bathing suits. The last time I wore a bikini was in middle school with my "frienemy" and it was not a pleasant experience.
I'm so used to people asking me "what's wrong with your body?" because growing up I heard a lot of that. From friends, relatives, and classmates.
After losing 90 pounds, my body is still less than "perfect". I had to get over my fear of judgment and loose skin in order to enjoy my time at the beach.
I've been body conscious for as long as I can remember. Now I'm trying to get the courage to wear my body out in public without feeling shame and embarrassment.
My husband encouraged me to get a two piece bathing suit from Target during one of our many shopping trips. I turned his offer down a couple times. It wasn't until we returned for some groceries that we had forgotten on a previous tip that I decided I would go for it and get the bikini.
We woke up early and got going on our road trip. We stopped for coffee and delicious breakfast sandwiches. When we got into town, my husband wanted to stop and eat lunch. He decided he wanted to have lunch on the balcony of the two story Whataburger in Corpus Christi, knowing I was attacked by a seagull for my burger when I was a child. Despite being mildly traumatized I agreed, "It'll be fun" he said. I ended up side eyeing and yelling at the seagulls that were flying over my head the entire time. The "crazy lady" look definitely does not suit me. However, I did finish my meal without any talons on my head and a bird pecking at my sandwich, so I'll call that a win.
I couldn't be happier with how it turned out. We got to the beach and for the first time I felt comfortable in my own skin. I didn't care about what neighboring beach-goers thought about me because I was PROUD of myself for losing as much weight as I did and finally feeling comfortable to wear a two piece without running back to the car to cover up.
I'm learning that everything that was holding me back, whether it was my arms, my belly or my thighs; my mind was the real problem. I've been working on practicing self acceptance and self-love in an attempt to get my life back. It's been a journey but it's been one hundred percent worth the work. It was such an amazing and freeing feeling to be at the beach not caring what everyone was thinking about me.